venting 1 (parents and child)

this post mainly goes out to my mother theres not much i have to say about my dad because we have never really had much of a problem.
ok first off if if you dont want the responsibility of have a child  this includes taking care of them giving them attention feeding then helping with there problems etc.etc. then dont have a damn child this does not mean get an abortion or stuff like that this means 1 dont have sex 2 if your pregnant put the child up for adoption 3 grow the fuck up and raise the child or give it to someone who can and never show your fucking face again. if your child is taught from a young age you are the person that they have to look up to get your shit together and show them that no matter how bad shit gets your there for them. never would i have thought if you asked me at 5 that my mother would be the person i hated the most maybe dislike her for some of the shit she does but not hate her now i understand that people have it worse that some people are not lucky enough to even have their parents in their life but honestly it mite be better off that way and im sorry to those who do have parents in their lifes who treat them way worse than mine treat me because i cant even imagine what they are feeling right now. all that pain and rage and confusion and the hunch you will never get over im sorry i swear i am and my words mite not help but if they could id send so much love because a parent is never suppose to neglect their child regardless if the child is "dis formed, disabled, colored, a sex that they dont want, gay, straight, fat, skinny, tall, short, non talented, or of any race or religion they dont approve of or even if the child was from rape" at the end of the day no matter the story a child is a child that child is your child I DONT CARE IF THE FUCKING BABY COMES OUT LOOKING LIKE ALL THE DAMN ALIENS FROM MEN IN BLACK MERGED TOGETHER. THAT CHILD IS YOUR CHILD. RAISE IT AND RAISE IT RIGHT!!!! i dont care if your child grows up and tells the world HE prefers dick rather than pussy... or if SHE wants pussy rather than dick. or that SHE wants to become a HE  .or that HE wants to become a SHE or that they want to dress in drag or be a cross dresser. i dont care if your child has 2 fucking private parts of different genders or two damn heads. i dont care if your child wants to date a different race or practice different religions or wants to eat like a pig all day everyday or what ever the case may be. support your fucking child stay by your child side. if you disapprove of something they do bring it up once respectfully and if they want to keep doing it because it makes them happy let them do it ( this does not include drugs, prostituting, killing, rape, abuse, animal abuse, or bullying if your child is doing any of this then either you did something wrong as a parent or they where taught from someone else or earn by them self but should still be taught that its wrong and get them some help. help isnt always payed for you live in a world with others have people RESPECTFULLY talk to your child and hopefully talk them out of that stuff) you know that shit anit right and sometimes the drugs are just a faze the bulling is just to cover up something else or to get attention and shit like that but sometimes its not sometimes they go back to it or they just do it because they want to ive met people like that ive changed people like that because all that ever happens when they do stuff like that is get called "animals, sick" really and no one stops for a second to think theres a reason behind it all even if the reason is just because they want to do it they are still human and some humans are monsters but only because that what they are taught or driven to. support your child help your child LET YOUR FUCKING CHILD KNOW SOMEONE CARES AND DOESN'T WANT THEM TO HURT THEMSELVES FOR DOING STUPID SHIT. give your child someone to trust. also never be a hater to your own fucking child. my own mother tells me that i will never be successful never get married she laughs in my face when im crying she threatens me and bullys me she beats me up (no not ass whippings when im being bad she fucking fights me when shes mad) she cares more about her drop out privileged son more than me (love your children equally = really) she throws my stuff out and trys to kill me and the second someone comes around she becomes phony acts like she would never do any of that and when i try to get help "oh she delusional she crazy i would never i love my child i want the best for my child i want her to be successful" yeah ok fuck you mom and only 2 or 3 of my friends have ever seen my mom act that way just a little hint of it and im glad they have because they are the only people that can help me be saved. when i as little i believed that someone kid napped my real mom and replaced her with a clone that hates everyone. because there was a time my mother wasn't like this but maybe she was being phony because she never actually had us alone there was always people around . and after we fight she tries to be sweet then she claims to be bi polar... bitch no because you dont act like that to the nigga fucking u and laying in your bed eery night or your son. so shut the fuck up. now although i can go on about my mom and others with their children lets turn to my dad. now i some what have the stereo tipicult "black" father but heres the difference my dads not around NOT because he doesn't want to be but because every time he tries to my mother bullies him and pushes him away and sometimes he cant aford it and i like me and my fathers separated relationship i get to see him we chill talk and keep in contact my dad has hardly ever gve me a problem we fought once and every time we do have a problem its usually when hes drunk. but my thing is if you ever in my life dont come in this shit and act like you run everything you do not control me 100% i am a child not a puppet. now i respect my father because he still makes an effort to see us no matter how much he gets pushed away or bullied or disrespected or doesnt have the money he walks from where he lives to my house to come see us when he cant aford transportation. and he apologizes for hes drunken actions and he tries to make up for it and he tries to keep his word as often as possible hes not all in my bisness all the time and shit and another thing my father hates gays absolutely hates gays. one time he walked in my house to me kissing another girl my best friend and at that moment my girlfriend and he saw it got mad and left at that time he was living with us because i had convened my mother to let him stay with us through his struggle and when he saw that i was kissing her he grabbed all his shit a disappeared for a month he said nothing when he left and he looked so angry but when he came back he took me for a walk and told me he didnt care that i was bi and although he disapproved of it he still loved me the same and if its what made me happy then let it be hes cool with Katherine now and he just doent care when i talk about girls if anything our bond has grown stronger and we can talk about alot more ^.^ but because i know he still disapproves i try not to over do it lol he will punch me in my arm. like buddy punches. the kinds that hurt but dont say i hate you... buddy punches people... anyhoe (anyways) my fathers never really put his hads on me not even when he was drunk and the whole family was fighting i even broke a mirror over his head and even then he didnt hit me. and after a while we just talked because words get to the heart faster than actions although actions speak louder than words... he keeps his distance when he fucks up after apologizing and showing that hes sorry. and he tryes to make up for it so after a while i can for give his shit cuz he makes the effort but. my mom... yeah lucky her  i actually hate her so much i stoped calling her my mother for years i called her by her first name and i cant wait untill i get older to disown her . that day will be one of my grates achievements i swear to finaly cut her off and never have to see or hear from her again. :D such a peaceful thought but for now  i have to brave this on my own until i become independent with money and am old enough and intelligent enough to file those papers only thing i worry is to legally disown a parent you still need there permission to do it... uggh laws and rules they suck i swear but oh well i will just have to work at it for now. but anyways do your job as a parent please or let someone who is willing and wanting to do it step in. (please excuse my spelling im not only bad at it but i was rushing while typing this.)